Can We Still Be Friends
by Graham Billingham
Life is really not like the movies. If people's life was like the movies then every person's love life would be pretty healthy. There would be no unhappy endings. Let's face, life is not like the movies. If there's anything in life that resembles movies it's the nightmarish things that happen in the middle of movies. I say this because of some endings in movies where relationships end and one party asks if they could still be friends. In the movie world it can still work out, in the real world it just might be a dream.
When your ex asks if you too can still be friends after the relationship, it would make you think a lot. Do you think that this is really possible? It might make you sit back a moment and think very well. But why in the world or how your friendship can last when everything you had in your relationship just broke down. So when an ex ask that question it might only be polite to say "sure why not." But deep inside both of you know that it might be hard to be good friends again. That expression is just used as a consolation prize for the dumping you had.
People who ask and say yes to these things do not really mean what they are saying. How can both of you be good friends when you have some bitterness? Maybe if the relationship has ended without the bitterness and with common consent. Even though, this will still be hard especially for the first couple of months, because being with the person will make you remind of some stuff that could have and have not been. It would be hard to make these new-ex friendship work really.
This may also happen to persons who have just had a crash and burn during their first couple of dates. When one party thinks you are getting lame, he or she may only say, its best we stay as friends. Yeah right!
How can both of you be friends if you are not able to go out, talk or have fun most of the time. A friend is a person you develop your trust through time. What happens during that time is that you only became acquaintances and not friends.
So it's pretty stupid too make the other party be on the expecting end. It might happen on some rare occasions. But it would need a whole lot of work, where you would need to remove the emotional baggage. It might also work if you get some Hollywood magic.